The Onion: Lincoln Eliot pupils feel ‘really bad’ for ‘sad’ Newton voters

by | Nov 4, 2014 | Stuff that is not yet true | 8 comments

Lincoln Eliot Elementary School told reporters this afternoon that they could not help but feel deeply depressed after catching sight of local voters filing out of their school’s gymnasium, the Onion reports today.

8 Comments

  1. Essteess
    Essteess on November 4, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    If you search The Onion’s archives, you’ll find a number of stories over the years that have Newton, MA, as the (alleged) dateline. Makes me wonder if a staffer or two might have come from or spent time in the Garden City.

  2. Marti
    Marti on November 4, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    What a hoot!!!

  3. Jerry Reilly
    Jerry Reilly on November 4, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    Too funny that we’ve got a Newton dateline in the Onion

  4. Jim Morrison
    Jim Morrison on November 4, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    Dang! Scooped again!

    • Greg Reibman
      Greg Reibman on November 4, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      @Jim: As I always used to tell my reporters: “Don’t get mad, get even.”

      In other words make up some really preposterous national news story before they do.

  6. Ted Hess-Mahan
    Ted Hess-Mahan on November 4, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Jim, this one’s free. Here is secretly recorded video of a very famous person revealing how he voted on the ballot questions today.