Ruthanne Fuller, Mayor of Newton, MA, was arrested this morning in a joint Dept. of Homeland Security/City of Newton Operation, for laundering Saudi money in the Charles River. Acting Police Chief Harold Mintz described the arrest as “most disturbing,” following a year’s long investigation begun under former Newton Police Chief David MacDonald. “The evidence is incontrovertible,” he said, “as we have Nature Cam footage of our Chief Executive, kneeling at the water’s edge and rubbing Saudi Arabian Riyals (SARS) together with great gobs of detergent suds clearly noticeable floating downriver.” It is particularly concerning to see our elected official, who ran on an environmental conservation platform, add to the poisoning of our waterways.” Waban Area Councilors were particularly disturbed that the incident took place on the Quinobequin Parkland, the western border of their Village and expressed worry that young migrants from Wellesley might be harmed when swimming to sanctuary in Newton.
According to the Ass. Press, Fuller stated, when she was apprehended, that “I was simply trying to keep SARS-CoV 2 out of the City and felt my actions were necessary and justified.”
Rochelle Walensky, the Newton resident who was recently appointed to lead the CDC, when informed of Fuller’s arrest, shook her head in disbelief before asking if Fuller had covertly purchased any new penthouse condos in the Riverside or Northland projects with Saudi currency. (SARS-Covert 2).
(This was one of our 2021 April Fools stories)
Is it true that Emily Norton dropped a dime on her?
@Paul: No incontrovertible evidence in support or to the contrary, but Emily Norton was spotted entering a telephone booth and exiting shortly thereafter wearing a cape emblazoned with a large Smiley Face!
Hilarious! Thanks Sallee.
The Ghost of Theodore D. Mann will act as interim Mayor until a special election can be held in November
and her husband worked for Muammar Gaddafi. No wait – that really did happen. You can’t make this stuff up.
This site is absolute trash. It’s embarrassing.
Daniel, it was an April’s Fools post. It’s a site tradition. Take a deep breath.
Oh it’s a joke? How clever….taking a deep breath….
But we really want to know if her kids went to the Newton public schools.
@Jerry Aaron: It’s a little late to respond to an April Fool’s post…but if you are genuinely interested in whether Mayor Fuller’s kids attended the Newton Public Schools, it is my belief that they attended a private school in Belmont. (That is what I have read in the past, but I cannot verify the fact. Can someone else please help out here?)
Courtesy of Google:
The Fuller twins were accomplished rowers during their high school years…
http://archive.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/06/21/belmont_hill_rowers_win_national_title/
and college years.
https://gocrimson.com/sports/mens-heavyweight-rowing/roster/christopher-fuller/21031
I just (5/2/2022) searched “newton mayor” and the headline that Ms Fuller had been arrested came right up. Anything can live forever on the internet, even long after April 1. I suggest removing the article and giving up on the juvenile practice of publishing silly lies to test people’s credulence.