The Newton Upper Falls Area Council is considering whether it should support Northland Development’s proposal to install two swimming lanes along the entire length of the Upper Falls Greenway. One lane would travel northwest from the Charles River and the other southeast toward Needham. Northland presented a compelling argument in favor of this community amenity by suggesting that the City’s Complete Streets policies do not meet the transportation needs of Newton’s swimmers.

Upper Falls residents who border the Greenway argued against the proposal, noting that the swimming lanes could be construed as a moat, separating their residents from the amenities to be offered on the soon-to-be-developed Northland site.

When asked about Northland’s latest proposal, Upper Falls resident, Jerry Reilly, looked vacant before fainting.

(This was one of our 2021 April Fools stories)