I just heard from old friend and Village14 contributor Terry Malloy. We were rue’ing the current state of the world, particularly how it has cramped person-to-person socializing. Inspired by the beautiful weather over the weekend, we would like to offer a modest proposal.
We call upon the City of Newton to suspend all public drinking ordinances for the duration of the emergency. Our existing public facilities are nearly perfectly engineered to support a renaissance of public drinking. All over the city we have 6 foot long public benches already installed in parks. One could almost think the city foresaw this pandemic coming. These benches are epidemically perfect for pairs of people to safely sit on opposite ends, have a refreshing cold one, and catch up on the day’s news and the easiest place to score some toilet paper.
As for Terry and me, once enacted, our plan is beach chairs on Echo Bridge. You’re welcome to join us but …. push back a bit there buddy
A fine idea, especially on this manufactured holiday named in honor of that snake-driving saint. And if the gendarmes have nothing better to do than hassle us bench-dwellers, esteemed counsel suggests you invoke the necessity defense: “Officer, there is no hand sanitizer because of all the hoarders, so I am forced to disinfect from the inside out!”
I’ll drink to that…but my preferred liquid is San Pellegrino (which I would tint green today)!!!!
“Better to ask for forgiveness, than permission.”
Grace Hopper
Sound policy..where do I sign?
Sound suggestion..where do I sign?
The Yeast of the Falls!
Anywhere where there’s multi-family housing allowed by right!
Only as long as you can safely walk to and from your destination. While the courthouses may be shuttered, law enforcement doesn’t stop and given the potential liability of letting an intoxicated driver go, its off to the clink if you are DUI!
It’s good to have ambition … and patience. It’s nearly a year later but Terry, Chris Murphy, and I took advantage of the unseasonable good weather to try a little Covid style socializing on Echo Bridge this afternoon.
Excellent!
@sean is always on brand…24/7!!! LOL!
Great idea Jerry. Count me in!
Great idea. What could possibly go wrong?
I’ll be there.
I think it’s a terrible idea.
While I like to partake in a cold one every once in a while, the rules against public drinking are quite clear. what we don’t need is to have our already overburdened constabulary spend the day responding to incidents of public intoxication within the confines our family friendly parks