Mitch Lyons, Coordinator for the Social Emotional Learning Alliance of Newton (SEL4Newton) submitted the following Guest Post
As was heard at the October 21st School Committee meeting where Newton’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey was unveiled, since 2012, with little variance, Newton North and Newton South High Schools have 80 students who will attempt suicide, about 400 who will purposefully harm themselves, and 800 who feel “so sad or hopeless almost every day for two weeks or more in a row that they stopped doing some usual activities.” (http://www.newtonma.gov/civicax/filebank/documents/97603)
These are our children under our care. They didn’t walk into high school and suddenly become depressed, self-harming and even suicidal. These issues started earlier that that.
In 2014, after three suicides by high school students, there was much activity from our community leaders. But, honestly, we have lost focus since then. We need to find ways to support our children now, before something horrific happens.
Have we become desensitized to human suffering if we do not find these numbers frightening?
I cannot say enough good things about the tireless student support service employees from Newton North and South that were at the October 21st School Committee meeting who truly believe and work toward addressing this issue. Their work is inspiring and heartfelt. Newton’s Health and Human Services Department similarly has done laudable work in establishing Newton Cares among other work. Yet, unfortunately, the data has not changed in any significant way since 2012. Given that we love our children, that we care, we cannot walk away without doing more.
Social-emotional learning (SEL) is the educational process that teaches children how to recognize and regulate their emotions and acquire the “people” skills that help to build long-lasting relationships with others. That is too simplistic a definition for a complex undertaking by educators, but SEL has proven efficacy in helping children navigate the emotional roller coaster of what makes up our lives. SEL teaches the “whole” child”, which means that academic knowledge alone is not enough for our children to lead a happy and successful life. To quote a brain scientist, “We perceive ourselves as thinking creatures who feel, but in biology, we are actually feeling creatures who think.” SEL addresses how our emotions play a crucial role in our lives. Employers strive to acquire workers who possess emotional intelligence (www.eiconsortium.org) and people with emotional well-being, both physically and mentally, are healthier (https://familydoctor.org/mental-health-keeping-your-emotional-health/).
Newton Public Schools has embraced SEL as “one of the foundation blocks of NPS” as have many school districts in Massachusetts and throughout the country, but while SEL is being implemented within our elementary schools, it is still making its way systemically into middle and high schools. To reduce the startling statistics from the HHS Youth Risk Behavior as shown in High School, we must begin with bringing SEL taught in elementary schools into homes and out into the community to reinforce these skills.
In my work coordinating SEL4Newton (www.SEL4Newton.org), a citizen-driven initiative with a mission to bring awareness of SEL skills to parents and a pilot of the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Alliance for Massachusetts (www.SEL4MA.org) of which I am president, I have heard a repeated lament that there is not enough school funding for SEL. True or not, it’s not an excuse for inaction.
Let’s focus on what we and our leaders in this community can do, with or without funding. Let’s use the example of the Children’s Kids Room at the Newton Free Library who has highlighted SEL books in their room so parents can learn about SEL topics with their children.
Here are some ideas and I would welcome more from those who read this article.
- Let’s change our mindset about talking about emotional well-being. Let’s talk about it openly like it’s a “foundation block”, as the NPS website calls it, and not a side issue or an add-on. It’s not, it’s absolutely crucial to our children’s future emotional well-being.
- Let’s publicize it. In letters to the editor, Op-Eds or on social media, let’s put down on the record how we care about the emotional well-being of our children and what steps we can take to improve. Let’s take this message out to parents instead of making them come to NPS meetings.
- Let’s prioritize it by collaborating among all departments in this city and not work in silos. Let’s have the whole community talk about the skills necessary for emotional well-being.
- Let’s take the Youth Commission’s suggestions made last year to the School Committee and act on them.
- Let’s support the Newton Public School’s agreement with SEL4MA and join the all-volunteer SEL4Newton as a resource for parents to learn how to bring the skills of SEL into our homes which is the first venue for future emotional health, into places of worship where empathy and compassion is taught, in businesses where emotional intelligence is valued and onto playing fields where sport psychology has taught the same skills as SEL for over a hundred years. Over 100 people have already joined SEL4Newton and we hope all who read this become members.
- Let’s form a commission to brainstorm all the ideas we can come up with to promote SEL skills and then effectuate those recommendations with the same relentlessness and vehemence that our children’s emotional health is assaulted everyday by what they read and hear in the news, on social media and in their daily emotional lives.
Our children need us now. Let’s stand up for them.
I appreciate your suggestions and agree that our youth is in need of emotional support for many reasons.
However, I have to question the suicide data in the report you are quoting here. The report says 2% of high school students and 1% of middle school students attempted suicide in the past year. In a prior year attempted suicide is as high as 4% in Newton high schools, and the number for all of Massachusetts last year is 5% HS attempted suicide. All of this doesn’t seem plausible by any stretch of the imagination. I’m wondering if some kids mess with these surveys.
That said, I do not mean to diminish the importance of your message – even one suicide is too many.
For interested readers, a more detailed report can be found here:
http://www.newtonma.gov/gov/health/youth/youth_risk_behavior_survey.asp
The increased and remaining high depression and related suicide in high school is due in significant part to one factor left unaddressed in the post’s suggestions. That is the liberal progressive leftist permeation of school curriculum and administration.
The left has convinced inumerable young Americans that their past is terrible and their future is terrible. The left tells American children and teens that their past — the American past — is shameful and their future is even worse. They will likely die prematurely as a result of global warming.
@Jim Epstein – Is there no issue that you can’t/won’t cast as conservatives vs liberals?
Newtoner: Yes, “All of this doesn’t seem plausible by any stretch of the imagination. ” It seems unimaginable. I was shocked when I saw the same stats come every two years since 2012 when the surveys are taken.
Yet, see that Newton is actually below the state average. I don’t think kids all across the state are messing with this. I actually wish what you said was true.
See https://www.mass.gov/doc/health-and-risk-behaviors-of-massachusetts-youth-2017/download, go to the Table of Comments Page 51 under MENTAL HEALTH and SUICIDALITY
Youth suicide rate has increased by 56% in the last decade nationally according to the CDC. https://www.wsj.com/articles/youth-suicide-rate-rises-56-in-decade-cdc-says-11571284861
We have an epidemic now. And we have to act.
Jerry,
Your comment, as you are aware, is erroneous. Is NewCAL a conservative/liberal issue, more than frequently commented on by me? Is Webster Woods a conservative/liberal issue, repeatedly commented on by me? Is the issue of planting trees a conservative/liberal issue, a post inaugurated by me? Is the Armory a conservative/liberal issue, post inaugurated by me? Are Northland and Riverside conservative/liberal issues, commented on by me? Is the Cold Spring dog park a conservative/liberal issue, commented on by me. And on and on.
Since you elect to comment on my comment, it would be far more useful and interesting if you addressed its substance, rather than a cute remark which avoids IMHO a serious issue.
@Mitch Lyons: I’m basing my doubt not on my own perception but on hard numbers (CDC data):
https://www.americashealthrankings.org/explore/health-of-women-and-children/measure/teen_suicide/state/MA
There were 6 teen suicides per 100,000 in 2018. For Newton’s 4,000 high schoolers, this translates to 0.24 cases per year, or about 1 death in 4 years, which I think is more or less what we see. During that 4-year time period, the report says about 320 individuals will attempt suicide. The numbers absolutely don’t make sense. At the state level it’s even more far fetched: 5% attempting suicide (survey) to produce a 0.006% death rate (CDC data).
Jim,
Is your claim an effort to be the provocateur? Mental health is an issue that plagues millions. All one has to do it observe its gravity and its crippling effects. People need to feel confident in talking openly about their mental health struggles without being unfairly stigmatized. Legions of people perceive it as a weakness. This issue is in no way, shape, or form associated with politics. Please speak to your extensive experience with kids and how you have seen them beguiled by the left. Studies indicate that kids who engage in theft come from the homes of parents who are politically conservative. Are you familiar with this truth?
Suicide rates in Massachusetts are among the lowest in the country, and suicides are more common in red states than in blue states. But why should Jim Epstein bother with the facts?
@Jim Epstein. Respectfully, I’d rather discuss the contents of my piece dealing with a serious topic affecting our children and how to move forward to help reduce these statistics. There are many forums to discuss your political views and I invite you to use them.
The toll from emotional ill-health to children and their families is quite real, both mentally and physically. The suffering is actual and palpable. I ask that you respect that.
@Mitch Lyons – Thanks for raising these issues.
This afternoon I spent a fair amount of time with my usually tight lipped NSHS teenage daughter painting her room.
A great pleasure of that was that we talked about all kinds of things at length, something that many of you with teenagers might recognize as a rare treat.
This past week one of her NSHS classmates died after a relapse of cancer. He wasn’t a close friend but she counted him as a friend.
Talking about it with her brought back memories of my own teenage years and dealing with a death of a friend.
It also brought back all the more general memories of that intensely confusing time where you’re trying to figure out the larger world and your own place in it.
I moved to Newton 10 years ago and have been immensely happy in our new home. One of the only things about living here that does concern me is that the otherwise constructive ethos of achievement that pervades the town does put enormous pressure on all our kids.
Regardless of own own personal attitudes, our children are swimming in a sea where competition, achievement and status are the signposts all around them.
Much of that is good. Some of that is bad. I think how we foster the good parts of that, and fend off the bad is the most important part of looking after our kids in newton.
For anyone who has a pet theory for why young people feel desperation, despair, or hopelessness enough to end their own lives, please produce some published evidence to back up your claim before posting. Too many families and friends have lost too much to be used as “evidence” for unsubstantiated claims of causation.
We know that new stressors related to technology weigh on young people. They involve social media, but also the fact that our digital society never forgets yet hasn’t expanded its capability to forgive:
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/17/12/social-media-and-teen-anxiety
A feeling of powerlessness has long been associated with suicide. Today, issues such as the fear of school shootings and the risks of climate change add to the already heavy weight of coming of age.
There is a direct analogy to the documented youth stress from the threat of nuclear war, which marked the first time humanity’s actions presented a direct existential threat to itself:
Fear of nuclear annihilation scarred children growing up in the Cold War, studies later showed ( https://timeline.com/nuclear-war-child-psychology-d1ff491b5fe0 )
Children’s and Adolescents’ Perceptions of the Threat of Nuclear War: Implications of Recent Studies ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK219180/ )
Here’s are selected quotes from the second reference that could speak just as clearly about today’s issues (including nuclear war):
“”It is essential that young people not be left alone with their fears. It is essential that they make contact with others who are willing to hear them and to share their concerns. Education must take place in a context, that is, in a relationship which allows back and forth questioning and which also takes place over time. The context may be provided by school, media presentations with follow-up discussions, parents, doctors, educators, or others. What is necessary for those providing the education is knowledge of the issue, sensitivity to the inner processes of working through the painful feelings engendered, and a willingness to try to come to grips with what the youngsters are voicing.
“The subject is so painful, frightening, and seemingly technically impenetrable that most adults have chosen to deal with it by denial and avoidance…. Moreover, it is not clear that any one citizen can do very much by him-or herself about the problem, so that there is an attendant helplessness as one confronts its reality. In order for the democratic process to operate with regard to this issue, or any other, it is essential that citizens be informed and express their opinions.
“This issue has not drawn citizen participation, unlike many other issues, because it is so painful and difficult and because of the sense of powerlessness and helplessness it engenders. It is necessary to educate young people about this issue so that they can participate fully in the political process.”
To amplify Jason’s point, the neglect of mental health care only complicates and confounds treatment efforts that could minimize unhealthy stress, build resiliency, and prevent self-destructive behavior.
Thank you to everyone on the front lines of the battle for a healthy, happy next generation.
Jason, Newtoner, Mitch, Jerry et al.,
Mental health and depression, as the same relate to the conservative/liberal divide is not only a serious topic, which should be reviewed especially since the other avenues have failed satisfactorily to address this serious problem among our youth, but there have been numerous studies and reports on this.
(V14, sorry for all the citations, but the above commenters state or imply that this is not a serous topic, which is countered below — and there are many many more pieces on this than cited)
https://www.gamespot.com/forums/offtopic-discussion-314159273/survey-shows-liberals-are-more-prone-to-mental-ins-29353022/?page=13
https://www.techtimes.com/articles/232448/20180719/40-year-study-shows-conservatives-more-likely-to-live-meaningful-lives-than-liberals.htm
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/07/why-conservatives-find-life-more-meaningful-than-liberals/566105/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unique-everybody-else/201902/are-conservatives-healthier-liberals
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/conservatives-liberals-meaningful-lives-politics-psychology-usc-study-a8452446.html
https://news.usc.edu/145971/what-is-the-meaning-of-life-ask-a-conservative/
https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/gv33pw/are-conservatives-really-happier-than-liberals
https://www.livescience.com/63094-conservative-meaning-of-life.html
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235328290_Conservatives_are_happier_than_liberals_but_why_Personality_Political_ideology_and_life_satisfaction
https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/opinion/sunday/conservatives-are-happier-and-extremists-are-happiest-of-all.html
https://www.salon.com/2012/07/16/conservatism_makes_you_happy/
http://neuropolitics.org/Anxiety-Depression-and-Goal-Seeking-in-Conservatives-Liberals-Moderates.htm
http://freakonomics.com/2008/04/23/conservatives-are-happier-than-liberals-discuss/
There is too much academic pressure and it starts earlier and earlier. Our teachers work hard to incorporate SEL and they are excellent, but they are bound to the meaningless MCAS and other mandated things. I have younger kids but my anxious 4th grader is already feeling stressed by homework. I’m really worried how things will be in the future.
Thanks to Jerry, Mike and Mary for your comments.
At https://sel4newton.org/resources/for-parents/, when you scroll down, you’ll see links to very helpful websites who categorize the many scenarios facing parents with real life perspectives on how to handle them, including social media, death of friends and stress/anxiety.
Here are two articles on stress I found with helpful hints
https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/coping-school-stress#1
https://www.accreditedschoolsonline.org/resources/student-stress/
Here is a book on Social-Emotional Learning in the Home
https://www.amazon.com/Social-Emotional-Learning-Home-Integrating-Development-ebook/dp/B07CMFQ41T
Just like school, there are two factors at home that really help determine the effectiveness of SEL and its ability to positively affect the emotional health of our children.
(1) Creating a positive, enthusiastic joyful and supportive climate within the home; and
(2) Modeling the behaviors you’d like to see in your children.
These both require parents to ask themselves frequently “How am I feeling?” This means being self-aware about your own state of emotional health when talking with others and your children. “Am I being negative or positive?”
I don’t mean this to sound preachy but it is based on educational and scientific research.
For example, in both sports and in business, creating a positive climate is supported by those in the fields of sport and business.
http://www.sportdev.org/USAB/Blog/Engineering_Sport_Environment_I.aspx about creating a positive environment in sports
https://www.inc.com/rhett-power/10-reasons-why-it-is-important-create-a-happy-workplace.html
Why not create that environment at home? Food for thought.
Jim,
One can track down studies to state “factually” that the earth is flat. You have it out for the left. Is your right team invariably right? Does growing up in a conservative household have any negative consequences? I want you to speak to your hands on experience with the children of the left and avoid your predictable sweeping generalizations. In the interim, I will unearth studies that show various ways that the right engenders problems for the youth of today. The left and the right are busy creating a mess of this country. You need to step outside your bubble to see it’s 50-50. You conspicuously go out of your way to be combative.
Jim, your references are helpful (except the Gamespot online survey, please). But correlation does not equal causation. Liberals as a whole may well be “less happy” than conservatives, but that doesn’t implicate “liberal permeation of schools” even if such a thing existed.
For example, people may have a greater sense of belonging and purpose as part of an organized religious group, which may contribute to happiness and well-being. That in itself is not a reason to become religious. Conversely, LGBT youth have a significantly higher suicide rate than their heterosexual classmates (one study say 3 times), but that doesn’t mean they should stop being gay or trans.
I completely believe that life could be less depressing in a world where “our side” was always right, where everyone loved the same way, where human effects on the planet are either beneficial, inconsequential, or reversible, where the future is sure to be better. (Strawman alert: I’m not saying all conservatives believe all these things.)
But life can also be less depressing by celebrating the uniqueness and value of each of us. Of helping the voices of the voiceless be heard, guiding each to find their place. By seeing our neighborhood and our world get better through service and community. By finding inner purpose, finding worth, being curious, being kind, being there for others when they can’t stand on their own.
It is harder though. In the midst of life’s great challenges, we can’t, we mustn’t, lose track of the overabundance of good and beauty and kindness and hope and joy in the world.
Jason: As I told Jim, which he has since respected, could we check out what this article is about and our thoughts about that subject matter and leave politics for a different forum? Thank you for getting the discussion back to ways to help our children.
Jason,
I appreciate you willingness to supply research from your perspective, but firstly, your “flat earth” analogy is an unserious strawman giving a false impression of refuting my argument. Moreover, your equating left and right, 50-50 both “creating a mess” is precisely the cultural relativism taught in our schools, that is, neither side is right or wrong, everything is subjective and there are no truths; for instance, Western Civilization, Judeo-Christian culture and history are no more beneficial or pertinent to our society than any other, leaving our students depressingly bereft of understanding both our past and conventional expectation.
And Mitch, what is wrong with examining, as part of the brainstorming you suggest, the curriculum itself as affecting the emotional well being of the students?
Jim,
My point is that when humans have opposing views involving deep a passion(politics), it doesn’t end well. You can’t see beyond your own point-of-view. Your penchant is to ceaselessly go after the left. Look at the current political climate. The right blames the left and vice versa. I don’t agree with you politically. However, this is contemporary America and it is worsening. You routinely come back to the Judeo-Christian and Western Civilization piece. Jim, you routinely show your cards. The message you convey is laced with not so subtle rancor.
Jason,
I would respectfully say that rancor is at your end in dismissing my “Judeo-Christian and Western Civilization piece” consistent with, as you say, “contemporary America and its worsening”. That rancor against our cultural and historical past with a contemporary worsening America unfortunately permeates both the curriculum and administrative philosophy — diversity above all else! — of the Newton Public School System, IMHO negatively affecting the emotional well-being of our students.
Jim & Jason – Despite the very polite and measured requests from the author to refrain, you’ve managed to totally hijack this thread. Please stop if you’re able. These comments lead nowhere useful to anyone
I find no references that support the claim that curriculum and teaching biases (“diversity above all else” as Jim says) in schools are contributing to depression and suicide. Or, more importantly, since we are talking about solutions, that changes in curriculum content of any kind have been shown to reduce depression and suicide.
This isn’t about some political argument. This is about young people in crisis now. The solution doesn’t include the acronym “IMHO.” It consists of concrete steps and actions. Marginalized kids are some of the most at risk for depression. Do you really think a celebration of some idealized Judeo-Christian beliefs is going to do much for Muslim or LGBTQ* kids? Or for the Jewish kids who get beat up at school (or just keep their heads down every day) in the parts of the US where “Judeo-Christian” really means “born again Christian”? Or a Mormon kid who doesn’t fit in? Or a kid whose parents really want him to go to Harvard like they did, and try as desperately as he might, he just can’t do it (which has absolutely nothing to do with liberal indoctrination, but happens in Newton every single day)? Or the girl who is publicly shamed by her ex-lover on Twitter?
Suicide and depression are about the pain and circumstance of the individual. This is nothing new, but we try to understand pieces of it and address them better every day as best we can. I thought this article provided some context for a particular type of powerlessness:
https://www.aacu.org/publications-research/periodicals/civic-engagement-and-psychosocial-well-being-college-students
There are 5 Social-Emotional Learning Competencies
Self-awareness
Identifying emotions
Accurate self-perception
Recognizing strengths
Self-confidence
Self-efficacy
Self-management
Impulse control
Stress management
Self-discipline
Self-motivation
Goal-setting
Organizational skills
Relationship skills
Communication
Social engagement
Relationship-building
Teamwork
Responsible decision-making
Identifying problems
Analyzing situations
Solving problems
Evaluating
Reflecting
Ethical responsibility
Social Awareness
Perspective-taking
Empathy
Appreciating diversity
Respect for others
This is what SEL teaches. It’s difficult for us to change (witness the hijacking of this thread despite requests to refrain).
But if you feel that our children can harness their emotions by explicitly learning how to achieve these competencies, join us at http://www.SEL4Newton.org
The competencies, as the spacing came out incorrectly, are:
Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Relationship Skills, Responsible Decision-Making, Social-Awareness
Thank you Mitch for bringing our attention to the need for Social Emotional Learning in middle and high schools and the work being done by SEL4Newton. SEL needs to be inserted into all curriculums.
It seems to me that the subject of teen anxiety and depression that leads to their harming themselves (cutting), risky behavior, attempted suicide or successful suicide is only a taboo subject among those who have not either experienced it themselves or have children who have been affected. Social Emotional Learning can be incorporated into every facet of education and at home.
Two examples from my life:
One of my kids teaches Math Response to Intervention to 7th graders and leans heavily on SEL to help these students first overcome their anxiety over learning math, their low self confidence in succeeding in math, their reluctance to ask for help and their fear of failure. While also using constant reinforcement, fostering team building (working in small groups where every voice counts) and rewarding self motivation. Liking who you are and having confidence in your decision making all help overcome feelings of powerlessness and lack of hope.
At times some in my huge extended family have had battles with anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses and worked with others who have suffered from the same. With teens, especially, it’s hard to know what might make them so distressed that they need to do something to quell those feelings. It’s sometimes even hard for the teen to know why they are feeling that way. I have found that signs are relatively unnoticeable. Teens love to say “I’m fine” and keep on going until they can’t.
Practicing the guidelines of social emotional learning at home are a big help. Although even those homes with super high emotional quotients can be surprised by what their kids are feeling.
Marti – thanks for your comments. Your knowledge of this area is clearly articulated. I hope you’ll join us at SEL4Newton.
When you said “How are you feeling”, it reminded me of a book I am reading called, “Permission to Feel” by Marc Brackett, the Director of Yale’s Center of Emotional Intelligence. He remarks how adults (as well as teens) say “fine” when asked the question. He recommends that we need to ask that question of ourselves (“How am I feeling”) regularly during the day as emotions are constantly changing and effecting everything we do. That is self-awareness.
Mike,
As you maintain that “curriculum content” is irrelevant to this topic, I’m wondering how you feel about this recommendation from the report you cite: “high-school mandates for community service”?