Lipshutz challenges Hess-Mahan to a punning contest! These two already sharp quippers have been seen recently re-reading dictionaries, consulting oracles, and turning stomachs at Mach 34, as they practice for the sundown showdown in City Hall tonight.
Hess-Mahan has said he will guitar and feather her. Lipshutz plans on bringing her pun gun to the contest. Lipshutz noted that the current City Council has aided Hess-Mahan’s rise to recognition as an insufferable punster. “He has been Lennon on so many Councilors to bolster his reputation that it seems that Norton can stop him and he appears to be Lappin it all up.” “I believe he is Fuller it,” says Lipshutz, Crossley, and I will remain Leary about his reputation until we meet in an open and transparent arena.” She avers that she will send him out in a Blazer glorious defeat, exposing his Swartz and puncadillos to the general public. “Mom would never Brousal-Glaser cause any harm knowingly to another human being,” said her psychiatrist daughter. “Albright people reveal their razor sharp wit with puns and can’t always be Gentile and non-Kalis in their use of the language. Sometimes there is a slip out of the Lipof a snarky sounding remark, but the strictures of the language of the topic being punned often requires that.”
“There is a French idiom that irritates my punster philosophy and reminds me to be kind,” says Lipshutz: (Cic) “cone soit quis mal y pense” (sic: Evil to him who evil thinks.) I try to Rice to the occasion and never want to Harney bad words spewed on others. I ask those whose puns embarrass others to take them Baker (La)redo them more cleverly. I try to focus b-Auchincloss my words might be misinterpreted and Cote mundane pun with a healthy spoonful of sugar. Hot dogs an Danberg-ers will be served to all attendees, courtesy of Miss Angie Olo, the 102 year old Newton benefactor who dough-Yates to many local causes.”
Sallee wishes Ted good luck, admonishing him not to Hess-Mahan!