Today, we have some bittersweet news for you loyal Village14 readers. This morning Village 14 was sold, for an undisclosed sum, to the media company The Onion Inc. The new management wants to assure the readers that the blog they love will stay exactly the same, except for its new name – The Newton Onion.
The only other change is that Village14 founder Greg Reibman will no longer be contributing to the blog going forward. He came out of the meeting with the new management this morning, with a suitcase full of cash, and a big smile on his face. Said Greg, “I would like to keep contributing to the blog but I know as soon as I move to my new villa in the Carribean, I’m going to quickly lose any interest in Newton.
We do wish him well …. no, really
So we will soon be told…
Ted Mann has been resurrected by a Jamaican Zombie Master, and will seek the Mayorship again.
Monte Basbas is again a Judge.
The Chestnut Hill Mall will be demolished, and the hill return again to it’s natural state.
The “Bunker” will become a legal Marijuana outlet.
“Fat” Pellegrini will again regale us with Lake-Speak?
The “Charlie Brown School” will be returned to it’s proper name, “Meadowbrook?”
The “Never on Sunday” barbers in the Falls will re-open?
The “Backyard” in Newton Center will re-open, and in celebration, allow any 15 year old with a fake ID to enter and libate?
Charlie Shapiro will return to being a Disc-Jockey as a profession.
OK, I think we’ve officially jumped the shark now.
Christopher, is it also true that Bonazoli’s Beacon will reopen in Newton Centre with Warren behind the bar and the Auburndale Cafe will again serve anyone old enough to walk through the doors?
Terry, anything is possible.
April Fool’s aside, I’d almost give anything for the Langely to re-open. I have great memories of them. Or perhaps the Friendly’s in the Old Mall, square hamburgers and all.
And – ah, Tricia, those old Newton memories.
Believe me, I’d take a million April Fool’s posts if it meant the AC would rise from the ashes.
What can I say? I haven’t lived there in over 30 years, but I am a child of Newton.
That, and watching “Fat” run the numbers from the counter of his Pizza joint in the Center would just about make my day.
Pardon, a typo – make that *40* years.
Oh my god. Reading down all the blog posts has me rolling on the floor.
Austin Street Partners and the Mayor announced that funding has been received from an anonymous source for their proposal. It came with these caveats:
40 condos of 1500 sq ft will be built priced at $150,000/each.
The building will be set back from Austin Street to allow for a public plaza; it will be be 3-4 stories with retail on the first floor and it’s facade will resemble the buildings around it.
A shuttle to a T stop will be provided.
A station with an elevator down to the commuter rail will be built across the street.
The bus routes will be expanded.
All transit will adhere to its schedule and run in all weather conditions.
There will be free parking for everyone, always.
All are invited to the wand waving ceremony at Hogwarts, Butterbeer, and Every Flavor Beans will be served.
THE ONION!!! MAKES ME WANT TO CRY !!!
Time to start visiting TouchMyCulture.com
If any former Village14 writers need a site to write for, contact me at [email protected]
What? No more knock down fights. That’s no fun.
I will miss you Colleen.
A great April Fool’s Day was had by all! When Tricia tells us we’ve jumped the shark, it’s all over. Jerry Reilly is now the official Minister of Frivolity.
Wait? This was an April Fools joke? Jerry?
@Jane Franz – I’m all about shark jumping.
The Fat Lady is singing: “Yup, we’ve nuked the fridge!”
Did you hear that Scott Oran wants to build 80 units of housing on a city parking lot in Newtonville?
And that CC&F want to build 335 units of housing in Wells Office Park?
That the Newton Historical Commission heard 15 applications to demolish houses at their last meeting.
That the Board of Aldermen are in favor of affordable housing ?
Have we all stepped through the looking glass? Next you’ll be telling me that we can’t blow our own leaves around!!!!!
Christopher: Don’t zombies hiss? If so, if Teddy Mann is brought back as a zombie, would he be Ted Hiss-Mann?