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Newton Police have confirmed that close to midnight on December 24, a bearded male septuagenarian attempted to leave a local Newton house by way of  a smoke stack on the roof. He was carrying a large sack of letters addressed to Mayor Warren and his 24 Newton Aldermen. He had a getaway vehicle at the ready with several driving accomplices awaiting his return. Although he eluded capture, he left behind several unmarked boxes later detonated at Albemarle Field. The owner of the house said the intruder must have been led astray by local GPS readings confused by the eight LED. menorahs he had recently installed in his windows. The perp left a long note explaining his mission was one of good will and apologizing for driving on without greeting the occupants personally. His message was one of general good cheer and assurance that 2015 would bring relief to all residents from nightmares of double water meters and 40B’s. (Disclaimer: If you don’t realize that this story is fictional, you shouldn’t be reading this blog!)

Merry Christmas to all and to all, Good

 







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