About 7pm this evening, Newton-Wellesley Hospital was inundated with Newton City Councilors who were experiencing extraordinary amounts of abdominal groaning. The Emergency Room Doctors feared the Councilors had all been exposed to an inordinate amount of bad puns and worried that they had only eight doses of anti-pun venom in their reserves. Many Councilors regretted their recent Ordinance banning plastic bags, refusing the paper bags that were now available to them instead. The Emergency Room triaged Councilors according to At-large and Ward status, with only those Ward Councilors exposed to the worst puns being given the anti-venom. Venom reserves were then divided and administered by District.
Waban Area Councilor Sallee Lipshutz was seen leaving her Waban home near the Hospital for a lovely dinner with friends (not turkey). She was smiling peculiarly.