The Police Department has stopped issuing parka tickets and are handing out warmings instead.
The Village Bank is cashing checks with frozen dough.
The City Council has declared chili illegal within City limits.
It’s so cold in Newton that…
by Lisa Parlagreco | Feb 12, 2016 | Newton | 16 comments
R.L. Tennant Insurance Co. is offering blanket coverage.
James Freas is being sent to Florida for the next week ;)
Evan Falchuk got so blue he had to register as a Democrat.
…the only cereal you could purchase at the Waban Market was frosted.
Outdoor adventurers along Quinobequin Road were heard to say “Shiver me Timberlands!”
…all the gardens in the garden city flew south.
the Mayor has declared that all Fahrenheit thermometers in Newton be recalibrated to Kelvin. (He knew no one would know what Rankine was.)
the Transportation Advisory Group is proposing icicle lanes.
that a whether advisory has been issued: Residents are advised to consider whether to move to Florida or to Florida.
that Barry’s Deli is now selling hot cuts.
They changed the name from Newton to Anchorage.
They changed the mayor of Newton to Santa Claus
They changed Clay Chevrolet to Clay dogsleds
the Newton Nomadic theater has declared tonight a three camel night!
Man that’s a cold night Sallee!
Jess Barton decided to drop me during our medium-long-run on Comm Ave by running the last few miles at 5:39 pace.
… I saw a chicken with a capon.
Ah…he must have been her fowl weather friend!